As Ring Luck would have it

*As the NVD has moved this link, I've copied the full article back to this page. If you ever decide to remove the lights from a pre-lit artificial Christmas tree, it is vitally important to have the following tools on hand: 1. Needle-nose pliers 2. Scissors 3. Sturdy gloves 4. A time machine, so you can go back and slap yourself in the face before you begin. For the past five years or so, our family has been using an artificial Christmas tree, which was given to us by friends, who had previously used it themselves for a few years. It is very well-made and it looks very realistic. It has served us well and saved us a good deal of money. Recently, some of the light strands started going bad, possibly due to being forcibly crammed into a bag and dragged, pulled or dropped down the stairs for the past half a decade. We had the bright idea of just pulling off the pre-installed lights, and replacing them with new lights. After all, the tree still looked good. We thought,

I’m not sure what was more exciting, 45 minutes worth of a fireworks display crammed into 10 minutes, or the mad 4-mile dash back to the car in a desperate attempt to outrun a ferocious thunderstorm. Like most of the United States, we recently took the girls and our nephew (who is 6) to a nearby 4th of July event. Somehow word had spread to our daughters about the existence of fireworks, possibly the week-long build-up at daycare, so excitement was reaching dangerous levels. For days, the normal response to any question, comment or request was, “When are we going to see fireworks?” and if your answer was anything other than, “Right this instant,” they would reply, “But it’s America’s birthday!” We decided to take everyone to the festivities in Strasburg, VA. By “decided,” I mean “were forced.” Not that there is anything wrong with Strasburg’s Independence Day celebration. We’ve been going there for years, and it’s always a good time. But this year we had wanted to go to a different

Despite being specifically designed to withstand high temperatures, a metal stove top kettle can, in fact, catch on fire. This is one of the many valuable and useful lessons that ought to be taught in school, but isn’t. Recently, I found myself wishing that I had been given this knowledge in a structured academic environment, instead of learning it the hard way in my kitchen. You might think that it is fairly impossible to ignite a metal teapot using only the heat generated from a standard stove top burner, but you would be vastly underestimating Ring Luck. I don’t recall reading anywhere on the box that said that this sturdy water-boiling kitchen device wouldn’t catch on fire, so I guess it’s partially my own fault. My wife and stepson were away from the house at a Scouting event, and I was watching the girls at home. For some odd reason, I never considered boiling water to be particularly dangerous, so I started a saucepan of water to brew some tea. I’m not sure entirely what